Good lord!
Where have I been all these months?
I have not written since July!
Nothing to write about ......nothing to report ......nothing to smile at!
All this inspite of the fact that a lot has been really happening.
Too much in fact!
Not in the physical world, in case you start imagining that I have been doing 'xyz' and 'abc' and 'lmn' all at once. But on the mental plane. Everyday has been a constant struggle. Fighting uncertainties and fears and taking hard decisions which destiny with one flick of her fingers can easily change.
Adversity suits some writers. They become more eloquent. I have realized that I am a writer of good times. I can see comic situations in regular day to day events. I cannot write when I am mentally not at peace.
Well, I guess, that explains my long silence.
The reason behind it, I suppose, is my continual denial of the unpleasant. Things have to be pleasant or else they do not exist. Often I try to wish unpleasant things away instead of facing them boldly.
I am a coward, aren't I?
But I have never made any tall claims of being brave.
Yes, I look at the world through rose-tinted glasses and I want my bed to be made up
of roses. If there are thorns, I try to wish them away.
Not very wise, I agree. But effective most of the times.
But there are times when certain things can't be just wished away. I have been going through those times. I need to do something about it. But I don't know what to do.
It only adds to the burden of appearing fine in front of the world.
No!
I don't need advice and I am not even asking for it. Not because I think that I can handle everything on my own. I am far from that. But it's because, no one can see my perspective from where they are standing. You have to stand in my shoes first to see my point of view. And it's not only that!
You also have to feel the way I do! What is important to me might be quite trivial to you.
It's just a question of perception.
Aah! Perception!
It comes to my rescue every time.
Why do I have to see 10 questions where others can see only two?
And why do I have to feel everything so deeply when I can easily shrug my shoulders indifferently and say..."whatever"?
Thinking on paper is much better than thinking in the mind :)
Writing does give structure to thought.
So, now I have a list of structured questions in place a bunch of unstructured thoughts.
I hope that helps.
All I can try to do now is perceive things differently.
Who knows, they might not be as difficult as they seem right now.
Where have I been all these months?
I have not written since July!
Nothing to write about ......nothing to report ......nothing to smile at!
All this inspite of the fact that a lot has been really happening.
Too much in fact!
Not in the physical world, in case you start imagining that I have been doing 'xyz' and 'abc' and 'lmn' all at once. But on the mental plane. Everyday has been a constant struggle. Fighting uncertainties and fears and taking hard decisions which destiny with one flick of her fingers can easily change.
Adversity suits some writers. They become more eloquent. I have realized that I am a writer of good times. I can see comic situations in regular day to day events. I cannot write when I am mentally not at peace.
Well, I guess, that explains my long silence.
The reason behind it, I suppose, is my continual denial of the unpleasant. Things have to be pleasant or else they do not exist. Often I try to wish unpleasant things away instead of facing them boldly.
I am a coward, aren't I?
But I have never made any tall claims of being brave.
Yes, I look at the world through rose-tinted glasses and I want my bed to be made up
of roses. If there are thorns, I try to wish them away.
Not very wise, I agree. But effective most of the times.
But there are times when certain things can't be just wished away. I have been going through those times. I need to do something about it. But I don't know what to do.
It only adds to the burden of appearing fine in front of the world.
No!
I don't need advice and I am not even asking for it. Not because I think that I can handle everything on my own. I am far from that. But it's because, no one can see my perspective from where they are standing. You have to stand in my shoes first to see my point of view. And it's not only that!
You also have to feel the way I do! What is important to me might be quite trivial to you.
It's just a question of perception.
Aah! Perception!
It comes to my rescue every time.
Why do I have to see 10 questions where others can see only two?
And why do I have to feel everything so deeply when I can easily shrug my shoulders indifferently and say..."whatever"?
Thinking on paper is much better than thinking in the mind :)
Writing does give structure to thought.
So, now I have a list of structured questions in place a bunch of unstructured thoughts.
I hope that helps.
All I can try to do now is perceive things differently.
Who knows, they might not be as difficult as they seem right now.
Right .... Perception is all that matters ..!!
ReplyDeleteWhere do you stand today?
ReplyDeleteI stand in a better place:)
ReplyDeleteA bit more mature, a little less confused. But some questions still remain.