Change your attitude to help your child with LD

 Let us play a little game. Answer the questions given below.

There are no right or wrong answers and you need not even tell anyone. Just answer them in your mind. The only condition is BE HONEST to yourself.

1. Do you think your child is dumb because he cannot understand basic instructions?
2. Do you think he is not reaching his true potential because he is lazy?
3. Do you think he makes mistakes because he is careless?
4. Do you think he would do well if there were no written exams but just orals because he hates writing?
5. Do you think that his notebooks are untidy and incomplete because he is just not bothered about studies?
6. Do you think that it would have been so much better if your child would have been like his elder/younger sibling or maybe even like the kid next door?
7. Do you think that your child is not appreciating your efforts by not giving you the desired results even though you are sending him to the best tuition classes in town?

If you have answered "yes" to at least 4 of the questions, your child probably has Learning Disability (LD) and you need to get an assessment done.

But for now I would suggest you to go back and read the first three words of each question. You would have noticed that each question begins with "do you think"

Yes, this blog is not about the child. It's about the parents.

It is not about what you should do with the child who has LD. It is about what you should do with yourselves.

Let us bring about a change in attitude and make the world a better place for the child.

Acceptance

If your child has a learning disability and you know it, then accept it. I know it is difficult to accept that our child is anything less than perfect but denial will only delay the remedial process.

Tolerance

A child having LD will make certain mistakes while reading and writing. Tolerate them. Oh! I do not mean to say ignore those mistakes. How will you work on his mistakes if you ignore. But do not make a big fuss over it.

Have realistic expectations

It will be difficult for your child to achieve his true potential while at school because unfortunately schools still focus on written performance. Don't expect your child to ace written exams if he has a learning disability no matter how good he is at orals.

Stop feeling inadequate and stop making the child feel so too

Okay. So, the kid next door is getting accolades for his academic performance while your child is struggling. But that should not make you feel inferior. You will just pass on that feeling to your child and make him feel inadequate too.

Don't get anxious

It is very important to keep on working with your child without getting over anxious. Parents who panic, end up doing too many things with their child and end up frustrating them.

Believe in your child's talents and abilities

Unfortunately we lay too much emphasis on studies. There are other areas where your child can excel. Nothing is impossible if you and your child work as a team. But first you will have to believe in your child's potential if you want him to be confident.

Stop thinking that your child is lazy or dumb.

He is not.

Equality

Don't compare your child unfavourably with his luckier siblings or friends. He is in no way inferior, so treat him equally with others.

Patience

Now that you have started working on your child's learning disability, have patience. Miracles don't happen. Your child will learn to cope up with it in due course of time.

Love

Of course, we all love our children. And children with LD are no exception. In fact they need more love and support at home because it is likely that they could be suffering a lot of humiliation (at times even rejection from peers) at school. Not all students are lucky to have fantastic teachers who can understand their problem. And if your child does have a great teacher, consider yourself blessed.

Have fun

Yes. Have fun with your child. Create that special bond where your child will be able to confide in you regarding his fears and failures. Be his best friend and not just a parent. No doubt you must be doing your duty, but having fun will bring you closer to your child.

Don't give up

The task is difficult. And it takes time. But don't give up.

Adopt the ‘I, WE, YOU approach
I - will help you.
We - will try.
You - can do it!

Remember, Agatha Christie got over her learning disability and went on to write great books. Believe it or not Albert Einstein too had a learning disability. Go ahead and google. You will find a list of great people who defeated LD and achieved greatness.

Your child can do it too.

Another article contributed to the same parenting website (the second in the series of three about LD)

http://blog.appystore.in/smart-parenting/12-changes-in-your-attitude-to-help-your-child-with-learning-disability/